Sell My Soul for Your Heart
by Ilandere Okami
Summary: What does cross-dressing, dating websites, and selling your soul all have to do with each other? Well, absolutely nothing unless you’re L and Light. Welcome to crack-ville; population: yaoi. LxLight romance, angst, crack, comedy, supernatural
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: This started out as a story about them selling their souls and finding each other because of that. However, I couldn't come up w/ a case that L would have to solve when he sees Light, who was most likely either framed or just a suspect. Hehe... -_-; Anyways, I was thinking about a story I had recently read where L is asked what's the one thing he looks for in a partner. His answer? A penis. That being said, I thought that line ((or something similar to it)) would be hilarious if, say, Light pretended to be a girl on a, say, dating website...Kyahaha...So, that idea evolved into L has to solve a case revolving around that and somehow got pushed into this story.**

**To sum up? I have turned a hilarious, angsty, weird, supernatural story into a hilarious, angsty, hilarious, weird, supernatural, hilarious crack story. Never in my life have I written actually crack. Wish me luck!**

**Warning: Yaoi, adult themes...if you know what I mean....; age smudging ((Light: 18, L: 21))**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. If I did, maybe Light _would_ cross-dress...at least for L....However, I do own this idea, and all of it.**

* * *

Sell My Soul for Your Heart

**Chapter 1**

**______**

_Devil Files_

Name: Light Yagami

Age: 18

Gender: Male

Sexual Orientation: Bisexual

Partner: Misa Amane, female, age 19, three years together

Occupation: Student, freshman at Harvard Law School

Deepest Secrets: His actual homosexuality (current partner suggests otherwise); wishes to be dominated just once; loves to cross-dress

Complaints: Hates partner; bored

______

Light stared down at the cupcake Misa handed him. A single candle was lit, propped in the center. The pink wax was dripping onto the red and white frosting. _Doesn't the girl know I hate sweet things?_

"Happy birthday, Light!" Misa squealed happily. She loved her boyfriend with all her heart and worked hard on making him a delicious birthday treat…But failed miserably and bought him a cupcake at the bakery instead. At least she got him something!

Light was used to her affection. They had been dating for a few years now and nothing really changed. It was a monotonous, annoying relationship. Misa doted over him and Light complied. After all, who in their right mind would break up with a famous teen model? And an older woman at that? Plus, he could have sex with her whenever he wished. She never complained. She loved Light and lusted after him too. Light didn't enjoy being with her, but she was rich, famous, and got rid of any sexual tension he had. What's not to like?

Her brains. Or lack there-of.

She was not very bright and was a terrible cook. They added up into her taking Light out to expensive restaurants and expecting him to pay because she was the one that got them the reservation, no matter how crowded it was, because of her status. While they ate, she talked about her day and Light nodded and gave short replies when needed.

Sadly, even if he had sex with her anytime he wanted, it wasn't as if he enjoyed it too much. After all, she was just a stupid girl. Light personally thought that making love with other men—though not yet able to experience it—would be so much better. He could never tell Misa that every couple they passed, he was staring at the guy, not the girl. She went ballistic and thought he was cheating on her by checking out other girls. Well, he was checking out other people, but not the girls.

And Misa just didn't understand _his_ needs. In spite of everything, he had a reputation to hold up and letting everyone think he's heterosexual was one of the key things in that rep. Light wanted to remain popular, wanted to keep up his image. And Misa was one of the ways he could. Still, she was annoying, obnoxious, and an idiot.

And if his boredom with Misa wasn't enough, he didn't even have school to look forward to. Light understood everything easily and aced all his classes since grade school. He thought college was going to be a challenge and he was even able to study what he really wanted to: criminal law. However, everything was just as boring and there were no intellectual pupils in sight.

Life was just not treating him well.

"Thanks, Misa," Light smiled politely at the girl.

Well, there was one thing that he liked about life. Even if he was a guy, and wished to keep his genitals, he still loved dresses. Yes, that's right: Light loved to cross-dress. He had a secret compartment in the back of his closet that housed all his woman's clothes and accessories, along with some make-up as well, for when he had a lot of time on his hands. When he was alone at home, homework done, and Misa out of his hair, the brunet liked to dress up like a woman for a little while and admire his reflection. Yes, he admired himself wearing anything…or nothing…but even more so when wearing the frilly clothes…minus pink. Pink was Misa's favorite color and he hated it as much as he hated her.

Nobody knew about this and he wanted to keep it that way. There was no way he would be accepted by anyone if people found out. His reputation would be shattered. But even so, he was still bored by everything. He wanted _someone_ to know about him, about his secret, about _all_ his deepest secrets…

He took the cupcake in his hand and was about to blow out the candle when Misa cried, "Don't forget to make a wish!"

Light sighed. Right, he needed to make a wish, like tradition. However, all his life, he'd been wishing for excitement and never got it. What would make his eighteenth birthday wish any different? Silently chuckling, realizing he couldn't take the boredom any longer, he made the stupidest mistake of his life. In his mind, he recited words that he never knew he knew. It was the only thing he could think up that might actually work, and he was just completely desperate.

_I'd sell my soul for some excitement, something to ease this boredom._

**Author's Note: How'd you like it? I know this was a lot shorter than my norm chapter length, but I kept going back and adding things...I think it's okay, don't you?**

**Author questions ((please answer them in your review if you would be so kind!)):**

**1. How do you like the idea of having those "Devil Files" at the beginning of each chapter. There's ones for Misa and L, obviously, but I will make more for, say Soichiro, Sayu...Matsuda if you guys want! Even Matt and Mello...**

**2. Which brings me to question 2. Should Matt and Mello be together? I can't tell you anything else about how their characters appear, but remember: L's not the famous L. He's a private detective, who doesn't have an orphanage full of successors...And should Near even make an appearance? OH WAIT! I GOT IT! Hehehe...Never mind about that then.**

**3. Do you think Misa should sell her soul for something? What about Matsuda? He will be working for Light's dad, I can tell you that. Light's fam is pretty much the same as in Death Note, so don't worry about that. So, should L and Light be the only soul sellers or should others do it to? I will tell you Matt, Mello, and Near will not sell their souls. End of story.**

**4. I want Ryuk to appear, how should he? He isn't the devil, I already have that planned out. You guys decide please!**

**5. Any suggestions? Any other side notes? Any words at all?!**

**Thanx for reading and reviewing! I love all you guys!  
~Zena**

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	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: Why do I feel like I had more fun writing Light's chapter than this one? Oh, 'cause I did. I ended up finishing it today, don't ask what gave me the inspiration. There's a lot of cracks at L's character, but most of the actual crack is w/ Light. Maybe he smokes it? JK! Never gonna happen...in this story...**

**Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, and next chapter shall be quite...interesting...And longer, 'cause I'll have both dudes' POV's. Well, not together, 'cause they won't meet for a while, but still. *Giggles* Enjoy!**

**Warning: Uh...yaoi? References to drugs...not really anything...Oh, a pedo-smile!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note. If I did, it would've been nice and yaoi-licious! I do, however, own this idea! Teehee...partcially...**

* * *

Chapter 2

_____

_Devil Files_

Name: L Lawliet

Age: 21

Gender: Male

Sexual Orientation: Homosexual

Partner: N/A

Occupation: Private Detective

Deepest Secrets: Is still completely and utterly innocent; his pure loneliness; has had bad experiences with all other foods besides sweet things and will therefore only eat sweets and fruits

Complaints: Bored; lonely

______

_I don't know which is worse—having people staring at you or having people purposely ignoring you._

L continued walking down the street, not allowing himself to look at the passing people, not knowing if everyone was staring at or ignoring him. It was easy to understand why, what with his unruly black hair, extremely dilated eyes with heavy bags beneath them, pale—almost sickly looking—skin, and a loose, white shirt, baggy blue jeans, and worn sneakers. He probably looked like a drug addict.

The thing was, he hated drugs of all kinds. In fact, several of his past cases had been about druggies, drug dealers, and the like. It just seemed like one of the stupidest things to do with your life. Well, there were many stupid things to do with your life. L thought that spending it completely and utterly alone was one of those things.

So, drugs were out and so was anything else criminal. But still, he was alone. Always had been, and as of right now, always will be. It's not that he chose this…wait, he pretty much did. During his childhood, he shunned others from him, wanting to be alone. It was both a defense mechanism as well as what he really wanted. Nobody understood him, for his mere intelligence shadowed anyone around him. It was his choice, really: Dumb down or shun others. Why risk brains?

In the end, he ended up graduating from high school early, and even from college early. Now, a private detective, he's hired by many different clients, agencies, and even the government occasionally. Nevertheless, the work was boring and he tried only taking cases that interested him. But what was a guy going to do when he needed money? Right now, he was well off, financially, but L knew he wanted to continue working for the rest of his life. What was there to retire to?

To recap: lonely and bored, that was L's life, his routine.

Up ahead was a fountain where small children were splashing happily in the water. A small smile creeped across his face as he walked closer. It was always interesting to see how children interacted with each other, so different from his childhood.

As soon as the gabbing mothers took notice of the strange man walking towards their kids with an odd smile, they immediately grabbed them by their hands or arms and rushed them away from the obvious pedophile.

_Always the same…_L sighed. This is why he rarely went out in public.

He sat on the edge of the fountain, dreaming up his dream man—yes, another reason people avoided him; he was gay and apparently, that was bad. His hand made its way to his mouth, a finger pushing at his upper lip as his eyes gazed at the cloudy February sky. His dream man would be handsome, yes, but also brilliant. He knew he was hideous and thought that that must mean that all true genii were also unattractive. It was very sad when he really thought about it.

Suddenly, a glint of something shiny on the ground caught his eye. A single penny, slightly wet from the splashes of water the kids must have caused, was lying by his feet. He picked it up, bored, and a thought came to him.

Never before had L actually made a wish, thinking that the probability of it coming true was near impossible. One makes their own wishes come true, lives their life how they want it; higher beings didn't exist, and even if they did, would never pay attention to some lowly creature's hidden wish.

Yet, words escaped his mouth as he involuntarily tossed the penny into the mist of the fountain, words he didn't know he knew, nor believed in.

"I'd sell my soul for my perfect partner, someone to ease this loneliness."

* * *

**Author's Note: Told you it wasn't as good as last chapter. Well, this has been quite short...Grr...It'll be longer later, I swear!**

**Review questions:**

**1. Who's _Devil File_ would you guys like to see next chapter?**

**2. Should anyone else sell their soul? Certain characters - Mello, Matt, and Misa - aren't able to for reasons you'll see later ((one I just made up now on the spot, but like and will keep it!))**

**3. What should happen to those who sell their soul? I still don't know completely...Should it only really have any relevance after they die?**

**4. Random question: What'd you dress up as for Halloween? *Damn, this is a very late question...but I'm trying to fill up space and make this look longer, haha!* I was Mello! Chocolate and all! ^_- I hate spray dye...**

**And the winners of my contest, like always for the next few months: ((And sorry that I forgot to put this on "Life Note" but will remember from now on!))**

**First place: "****Perussi****" by Poshoom  
Second place: "Admit it, You're a Monster" by Odelia is the Oddie  
Honorable mention: "My Obsession" by Black-Dranzer-1119**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Notes: I'm still dissappointed in myself that this took so long ((3 months)), that this muse is so finicky, and that these chapters are so fucking short! Oh, and if you care at all about this story or any of my others, I suggest you take a look at my blog ((link in profile)) to know and understand a little bit more about what's going on, and stuff like that.**

**Inspiration to write more to this story actually came from rereading DeathbyConformity44's _Death Note Dreaming_, in which L asks if using the Death Note is like selling your soul. So, THANX, DMC44!! Oh, and for some reason, I'm now practically obsessed w/ soul selling, reading a book called _Demon Chick_ where a mom sells her daughter to the devil to gain political power. ^-^ Be on the lookout for Light's birthday fic, coming out on his birthday, too! *laughs* Oh, God, that has actually inspired a whole book series I'm gonna add to the list of novels I'm gonna write.**

**Warnings: Well, I enjoy torturing Light. That's pretty much it. OH, AND BOTH ARE IN THIS CHAPTER, YAY!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Death Note or any of it's characters. However, I enjoy placing them in crack-like situations. ^_- Oh, and credit for some of the Ryuk stuff goes to freakygirlXD**

* * *

Chapter 3

_____

_Devil Files_

Name: Misa Amane

Age: 19

Gender: Female

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Partner: Light Yagami, male, age 18, three years together

Occupation: Professional Model

Deepest Secrets: Secretly insecure, so makes up for it by being extremely slutty-looking (at least in the Devil's opinion)

Complaints: N/A currently;  
Old complaint: wanted current boyfriend to be with her always

_____

_**BOOM!**_

Light looked around in shock. What had happened? A loud booming sound, and then dust and clouds erupted around him, as if he was in the middle of an explosion.

"Misa, are you okay?" he called out, worried that something had happened to the girl, no matter how much he hated her. After all, he'd never live it down if he didn't try to protect her. Misa would probably injure his perfect body somehow, or his shameful pride.

But she didn't answer back, and he couldn't find her. The smoke cleared to the same room he was in before—his bedroom. And Misa was still there…but frozen in place. The disgusting cupcake was still in her hands, but the flame was out; the smoke from the extinguished fire was as frozen as Light's girlfriend.

_What's going on? _Light thought. He was more that slightly freaked. Though he rarely let his perfect mask fall, sweat was cascading down his back. And it wasn't just from fear. For some bizarre reason, it was extremely hot in there. _Is it hot in here, or is it just you?_ The thought drifted through his mind, an old pickup line more than one man had tried on him in his life. It was too stupid to get even a flutter in his stomach from it. But the problem was, it was the same thing just now; he didn't say it, his mind didn't think it.

A presence was behind him; he felt it. There was someone behind him that wasn't supposed to be there, someone who could stop time and project his or her own thoughts into other people's minds.

Light whipped around, moving as if under water—humidity was rising by the second. Floating in the air, black-feathered wings supporting the large, gangly body, was a strange…man-type-thing. The dark, spiky-haired creature laughed, "Hyuk." His face was set into a permanent grin. Light's eyes widened.

"What's going on?" he asked, trying to remain calm. His voice came out with much effort, the air around him almost tangible.

With an echoing voice, the strange thing questioned back, "What do you think? You sold your soul…"

The brunet was getting dizzy. And the demon-like creature's words just confused him more. His wish…his soul…but the devil didn't exist, did he? The demonic creature answered his thoughts, "Sure he does, and he heard your little request, too. Sent me to do the deed."

Light just stared at the devil's minion. "Come on, I don't have all day. Some other guy is on my list…needs a partner or something. Ha, the things people give up their free will for, hyuk!" He flew around Light with ease, though Light was having trouble just turning his head around to watch the thing.

"Just hand it over, Lighto," the creature said, almost taunting Light as he flew over his head. Light fell almost in slow motion to the floor, landing in a heap. This couldn't be happening. "You know you have no choice…"

"Take it, alright?! Just leave me alone! Wake up, already!" he started yelling to himself. This was too much, just a dream. The heat, the humidity, the singeing fingers as they wrapped around his head with ease—the fingers extremely long, to match the rest of the body. If all that wasn't enough, with the burning sensation the hand on his head caused, he felt like he was dying, and Light knew his soul was being forcefully removed from his body.

He felt lightheaded, the world spun around him, he collapsed even harder onto the hot wooden floor beneath him. The creature's laugh sounded farther and farther away, taking the heat with it.

_____

When Light opened his eyes again, it was as if all that happened in a blink. He was standing once again in front of Misa, the smoke from the candle wafting away. "What'd you wish for, Light?!" Misa squealed.

"You know I can't tell you," he replied. "Then it won't come true…"

_____

The church bells seemed to be ringing. But they weren't, not to everyone else. L knew it was only in his head. Was this what it was like to feel your own untimely demise? Was he going to die?

He looked down, still sitting on the fountain's edge, and noticed the water seemed to have…frozen. What was going on? It wasn't the ice kind of frozen, and it was getting too hot for that to be the case anyway. Wait, he might be in a place where late-February weather was quite warm compared to other places, but this was obscene.

Sweat was starting to collect on his forehead and down his back. He turned around, slowly because of the rising humidity, to see every person around him was frozen mid step. What was going on?

A far-off laughter started to echo around him. "Hyuk, hyuk." Following the sound, L found a bizarre creature flying on dark-feathered wings towards him. "The name's Ryuk," the creature said once he got close enough.

L gave him a questioning look, eyes skeptical. Was this…thing causing his world to stop? "Sure, let's go with that," Ryuk answered his unvoiced question. "But I'm not a 'thing.' I'm a demon, working for the devil, here to collect your soul." He held out a hand, as if waiting for L to just hand it over.

L was sure he didn't do drugs. In fact, he was 99 percent sure. And he didn't randomly fall asleep, either. He was 87 percent sure of that, at least. So what was going on?

"No, this ain't a dream, or some drug-induced vision or whatever. I'm really here, and I really need to get going. This is my second soul in the last ten minutes, and I need to relax. I mean, altering space and time is no easy feat, especially with other people in such close proximity to the poor person I'm taking the soul from." A pause. "Right, just so you know, and so you can tell your _partner_ when he comes around…eventually…when you both go to hell, you'll be working for the devil himself."

The detective remained silent. He might as well let the thing talk. Maybe he really did sell his soul after all. L brought a thumb to his lip in contemplation, but looked up into the demon's eyes the whole time. The strange eyes…yellow with red pupils. Would he turn into this when he died and went to hell?

"Oh, crap, forgot to tell the other guy. I'll be popping by every once in a while, 'kay? Good. Anyway, ready?" Ryuk blabbered. Great, he'd be seeing more of this creature. Even though Ryuk gave a hurt look after L thought that, the human nodded all the same, thinking he had nothing to lose anyway.

Ryuk passed his hand through L's chest, taking with it L's very life, it seemed like. He fell to the hard, boiling ground, clutching his heart. Ryuk flew off as L closed his eyes to the deepening darkness and coldness.

_____

Opening his eyes again, everything was just as it was before. L was still sitting on the side of the strange fountain, the water was once again running, everyone was walking or running or laughing or talking loudly on phones just as before.

And L felt just as empty as before, even more so maybe. But he also felt a little bit of hope somewhere in the mess that was his heart.

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**Author's Note: Ryuk came to L and Light differently 'cause 1) I like torturing Light, and 2) so does the devil and Ryuk. Who is the Devil? You'll meet him...eventually. But now you know he isn't Ryuk, is a dude, and...that's actually it.**

**Anyways, questions I'd love for you guys to answer in your reviews:**

**1. As always, who's Devil File should be next? Restrictions: Not Ryuk, Misa, L, Light, Matt, or Mello. ^-^  
2. As always, who else should sell their soul, if anyone else? Just saying, I bet you can guess others have sold their soul...Restrictions: Not Ryuk, Misa, L, Light, Matt, Mello, or Near.  
3. Any suggestions for Ryuk following these guys around?  
4. Any suggestions for them meeting the Devil? Ryuk sorta took the place that I had planned out, and I really want the Devil to appear soon!! GAH! You do realize the way things are going, they're not gonna see the Devil until they die early, right? Wouldn't be too bad, actually...KYAHAHAHAHA!! ((Sorry, BB laugh moment. I'm good now.))**


End file.
